Do You Have Trouble Saying “No”?

By Wendy Johnstone
September 26, 2016

“Sure Mom, I’ll help.” As soon as I spoke the words, my internal thought was, “I do not have time or energy for this! Why did I agree to help?”

Sometimes we just say yes automatically. We feel emotionally tied to a situation or we feel an enormous amount of guilt and before we even think what saying yes might involve, the word slips out of our mouths. Sometimes this ends up following us and becomes a standard we try to maintain or attain.

Setting boundaries and being a resilient family caregiver is about recognizing the importance of our own lives, family, and work. It is striving towards caregiving within those limits. It doesn’t mean we aren’t dedicated to caring. Quite the opposite. Setting boundaries allows caregivers to continue caring with compassion and devotion, instead of feeling lost or consumed by their caregiving role.

Allison Reeves, a registered clinical counsellor and facilitator of our upcoming webinar – Boundary Setting for Caregivers: Where You End and I Begin, September 28th – reminds caregivers:

  • Good boundaries demonstrate you taking care of yourself. They show that you matter.
  • Good boundaries also show how you think about others: are they worthy enough to respect?

Healthy boundaries let family caregivers maintain an emotional connection to the person they are caring for without the negative results of feeling they “need” to rescue, enable, fix, or control.

Boundaries allow people the freedom to be themselves.  To love and care for someone while accepting personal responsibility for our own actions.

In respecting boundaries, we respect each other.

Want to learn more?  Join the Family Caregivers of BC for their September 28th Webinar.

Family Caregivers of BC is a non-profit organization with a mission to inform, support and educate to improve quality of life for family caregivers.  The society provides leadership to strengthen the voice of family caregivers and promotes the significance of the family caregivers’ role.  FCBC provides free webinars and educational resources.  You can sign up to receive information on upcoming events, webinars and resources here.

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“You are amazing! What I tried to do in 2 months, you did in 1 week. You’ve helped us navigate the system, made sense of Mom’s disease, and gave back her independence and control. Thank you for making such a difference in Mom’s life and giving us, her family, complete peace of mind.”

– Mike G., Nanaimo, BC

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